Strength to Suffer

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted from a weekend full of overwhelming emotions..

If you are a fellow sufferer of anxiety or depression, you know exactly the feeling I am talking about.

Last night I had a much needed talk with God.

For the first time ever, I begged for God to take away the nervous pit that has taken up residency in my stomach.

I prayed that he would rid me of this sick and eerie feeling. I am tired of it.

I, for the first time, asked God to take my anxiety away….

I am a person of strong faith.. I hate praying for things in my life to get better.

At this point, I felt that I had no other option.

Of course, after I asked God these things.. I felt so guilty.

I apologized to God.. I told Him that if my life was supposed to be consumed by this “mental suffering”, I am content.

I told God that if my suffering is for the sake of helping others or saving someone’s life.. I am content.

I asked God for the strength to suffer.

Suffer is such a brutal word, but that is what anxiety/ depression feels like. You are suffering.

It is a constant and unwavering battle.. Me against anxiety… Me against depression.. Me against myself.

I know that God will help me. He tells me in His word that I only need to cast my anxiety and fears on Him.

He will help me overcome.

I WILL OVERCOME

Not by myself…. But with HIM!

I am thankful for another day. Even when things feel tough…

I am alive.

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